“What do you do?” is a common conversational question, it can have a variety of meanings, depending on the context of the question, the tone of the questioner, and the perception of all parties involved.
I do a lot of things. Don’t label me. Don’t put me in a box. Don’t assume you know me based on anything.
Are you an artist? sometimes. Are you a parent? Yes. Do you work? yes. What kind of work do you do? can you be more specific?
I can’t take a compliment, because I wasn’t raised receiving them.
It’s different now. I finally reached a point of realization, a place of knowing that I can’t control what anyone thinks of me, and I was never here to be approved. I know myself, I know who I am, I know what I like, I know what I am good at, I know my strengths and weaknesses. I am not here to be tolerated.
In 2021 I set out to open a place in the neighborhood, it got lost in the chaos of life, and has since evolved, but these are the notes.
It’s meant to be the village hub, about “It takes a village”. And I keep coming back to the mixing of generations and cultures. A place for parents to be people, A place for people to be people
Raise your hand if you have/want kids Raise your hand if you know someone who has kids Raise your hand if you have been bothered by kids in a restaurant. Raise your hand if you have judged someone with kids in a restaurant.
I would imagine there are a lot of hands raised right now…
The vision had a corkboard wall dedicated to spreading kindness, joy, support, advice, as well as community resources like workshops, classes, etc. Write out the “manifesto” what would we write on the wall when you enter, what is the purpose, why are we here? “Be gentle with other generations” – community board with notes –
What is one thing you wish people would stop saying about your generation? What is something you don’t understand about other generations? Ask a question to another generation. And then also include a generation chart and polaroids of multi-gen visitors (self-submit).
NOTE: How can we accommodate different generations?
This led me down a path of research post-baby. Going to a restaurant with a baby was an extreme anxiety-inducing event for me. There had to be another way — I was given a book called Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff and it felt like fireworks and lightbulbs. Notes from an internet dive into related issues such as family dining and child development coughed up some of the below notes.
Kids learn emotional regulation from us, but some of us don’t get to learn it from anybody else, so who are we supposed to learn it from?
“It’s that we all have different definitions of what is appropriate and expected in a public space, and often that changes depending upon the mood you’re in, the stress you’re under, and how the planets are aligned.” Via article on Scarymommy circa 2016/2020 here
One solution could be to never go out to eat until your kids are in college. But then they miss out on the valuable lessons that can be learned in a restaurant setting, such as how to behave themselve
s in public and use their manners. Another solution—sharing a meal or letting your kids eat off your plate.
How restaurants can create a more inclusive experience for kids with autism article is here
“The relationship between children and restaurants is always going to be slightly strained. It’s nearly impossible for a restaurant to cater successfully to everybody, and one of the most obvious clashing points is always likely to be that between young families and people who don’t like the presence of children.”https://www.them-apples.co.uk/2010/03/should-kids-be-allowed-to-eat-in/
I spent the better part of 2020 at home with my boyfriend and my pets, online scrolling, consuming content, and being isolated like the rest of the world. My anxiety has skyrocketed.
“No parent goes to a restaurant and wants their child to misbehave. Not a single parent.”
“In many ways, the innovation of the children’s menu changed the ways that families move through public spaces, for better and for worse. Indeed, the children’s menu is the story of America, from Manifest Destiny to the postwar baby
The Brain Dump
Given my background in branding and marketing, I like to tackle strategy backwards. Here were my notes for an ad campaign and/or pitch deck about the project concept:
Calling Ridgewood parents
Rex’s room – a place for parents to be grownups and parent at the same time
First and foremost we are kid fucking friendly.
The space was created for parents to be able to feel like an adult without having to find a sitter or feeling like they are disruptive in a regular cafe setting.
First time parent? We got you.
Thinking about kids? We got you.
Looking for comfort classics? We got you.
Picky eater? We got you.
Call it a practice place. But we also serve beer & wine, seltzer and non alcoholic stuff DUH.
Private nursing rooms that are not a toilet.
Private stalls like rolo’s or something like phonebooth style for nostalgia (this would probably be more expensive since they would need to be soundproofed)
Sound Proof Space or Dining Space for a larger group, a meeting, etc.
Private events ?
How to be a community space but also profit?
Minimal overhead & staffing
Partner with local spots for vendors and food
What kind of random shit do we sell that’s profitable?
Easy classics
Drip coffee
Chicken nuggets
Grilled cheese Add apple
How do you create a space that makes parents feel relaxed, and also is engaging enough for kids to stay occupied but not overwhelming?
Interior design and sound muffling, ceiling design,
The following was an email sent to the parent community at my kids school.
Hi Parents & Friends!
Laura Rex, back again with some updates, ideas and general thoughts.
It’s a new year and for me personally it has been an absolute dumpster fire so far. If we haven’t gotten to know each other yet, that’s cool. There is always time. For those of you I have gotten to know, I appreciate you. We might not be cut from the same cloth, but everyone loves a good quilt. Now let’s get some of the admin and reminders out of the way
It’s Tuesday, and the 2nd Tuesday of every month is FAMILY NIGHT at The Seneca. After lots of chats with different folks, I am stoked to share that Family Night is becoming a weekly, we are adding a VCR for that nostalgic VHS goodness, and revamping some of the deals. Hope to see you there
The 2nd Annual *school* Auction will take place April 7-13 2025, and we need help with sourcing and collecting donations — There is a quick survey HERE for preferences and auction ideas, do me a favor please and check it out. If you have an idea, we want it! Want to promote your business, let’s do it! Know someone who might be interested, let us know!
In Other News: THANK YOU to everyone who donated to the parent fund. Back in November I used one of my awkward tokens to ask the community for a monthly contribution ($5/month was the suggestion), and I was blown away at the response. We raised $1100 collectively! ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
The $ will be covering the following: All teacher appreciation initiatives, Special events & Supplies (Holiday party, Spring Picnic, Moving Up Ceremony, etc), Ideas have been floated about Leaving a cushion for the crew next year to get started, or donating the leftovers to fundraising, Insert your COOL idea here (but really in the form I will share soon).
Let’s Be Real. Hi I’m Laura.
I believe that transparency is the best policy – so for me you get what you get at all times, in all places. I have ADHD, I’m on the spectrum somewhere, I am awkward, often loud, brutally honest, filled with love, ideas, and questions. I ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS. I use “curse” words regularly, and I do my best to not offend people, but I’m generally an unfiltered person. If you have met me, you’ve probably seen me cry (no shame here).
In 2024, the Surgeon General issued an advisory related to parenting, so if you are feeling alone in how stressful this shit is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
We were all people before we were parents. Parenting is fucking hard, and it has recently come to my attention that many of us have been looking for a village, a friend, or literally any type of connection — So let’s connect!
Please don’t mistake this for me expecting everyone to be my “friend”, but some of y’all peaked in high school and it shows. If I am not your cup of tea, no harm, no foul. You just keep doing you. However if you’d like to have tea or coffee, vent, rant, walk, etc. I’m looking at hosting it on Friday mornings after drop-off after break.
THE FUTURE IN 2025:
In an effort to not exhaust myself yet again, or “over promise and under deliver” by attempting to do ALL of the things, I have put together a brief list of ideas, events, initiatives, etc. If something resonates, let’s find a way. Throw your expectations and assumptions out the window. I’m here for it.
Clothing Swap – As Springtime quickly approaches and everyone starts thinking about “spring cleaning”, a number of folks have communicated an interest in participating in a clothing swap.
School Retreat/Vaca takeover – Aiming for Spring break dates. More info coming soon.
Community Cookbook – I attempted this last year, made it WAY too complicated, and it got lost in the shuffle when the timing lined up with the auction, spring picnic, and the chaos of life. The goal was to create a communal resource of recipes and meals that our kids and families love, that are easy. We had a decent amount of responses, and I would love to share them with current, past and future families.
Parents Night Out Rotation – With coordination and communication, I’d love to explore giving parents a break for personal time, date night, or whatever TF you want to do with your time, while simultaneously fostering connections of the kids.
Next week, you can expect another update/reminder about all of the things. Feel free to text me at any time, or shoot me an email with your thoughts, questions, feelings, no matter how weird or silly they may seem.
Thanks for coming to my REX TALK– hope to see you out and about.
Below is a part of an application I submitted in March 2024 for a guest residency spot in the neighborhood. I didn’t get the spot. It’s all just a part of the story, and the journey…
— Hi there, I’m Laura Rex. I am looking to ignite my spark again. I am a maker and a dot connector. I find it hard to say I am just one thing, hence why I am applying under the multi-disciplinary section. I am a writer, an artist, a photographer, a creator, a designer. I am a dreamer and a doer. I am a parent and recently a wife. I found the Woodward residency while I was exploring the neighborhood — escaping my home office basement on daily walks during the pandemic. Your hope that members and guests feel energized to be there is my literal dream right now.
A quick about me, the history – I am adopted, born in Nebraska. I was raised in NYC. I attended a boarding school in Vermont for 3/4 years of high school. Went on to study Communication Studies at SUNY Oneonta and found myself working with musicians at Gibson Guitars after graduation, time spent in the showroom lead to my first publication, a handful of venue reviews for a NYC Live Music Guide. Webster Hall was one of the venues, and I became enamored with the space. From door cashier to marketing director, and what we used to call “talent wrangler”. Post Webster Hall I made the move cross country solo, and lived in LA for a brief yet amazing year. Upon returning to NYC in January 2017, I found my current spot in Ridgewood, I found work in marketing, in hospitality and lifestyle, and ended up as the Head of Food & Beverage/ Marketing Manager at the McCarren Hotel up until covid.
Long story short. I have been home for the better part of 4 years. I was lucky to have remote work in 2020 when the pandemic hit, which allowed me to become a parent in late 2021. Opted out of maternity leave. Ran myself dry trying to keep up with a toxic job + parenting and snuffed out my own light. I finally said NO MORE a year ago, and after a half-dozen attempts at quitting I was free in August 2023. I could see the light at the end. It was so close. The kiddo was going to be starting at wBees Forest School in September*, which turned to November. Such is life. Then holidays, sickness, more life. Last week was the first time I had a quiet space at home. I am exploding with concepts, ideas, and projects. I have dozens of “work in progress” projects.
In an effort to stay close to home & my kiddo, I would be honored to land a guest spot at Woodward Residency. A new experience, a change of scenery, connecting with others are just the little bits I need to make magic happen and spur me to move through some of the projects I have been sitting on.
I want to do cool shit. I want to create more. I want to focus and connect more. Some projects I would love to complete during my time there: 1.“What’s that sound?” A Children’s book/ book series that explores sounds and noises. Using photos, illustrations, and some engineering to create a board book that is interactive and educational and can also be a helpful tool for those with sensory issues.
2. Club Kid Chronicles – A Coffee style table book that shares all of my stories from my days at Webster Hall (2010-2015). Coming up on 10 years out, I wanted to finally share polaroids, interviews, stories, and essentially never before scene stuff of some of the biggest musicians that passed through.
3. Complete draft of the script/ screenplay for the book ‘I Was A Teenage Fairy’ by Francesca Lia Block.
4. Building a catalog/ database of digital collage elements using IRL tools and mediums. Paint, marker, torn paper, etc. All of the things I use in my own collage pieces, but digitized.
5. A view of Ridgewood through Playmobil – a photo series of different local businesses, and community scenes recreated using playmobil toys and building custom sets.
At the end of the 3 month residency I hope to leave with my spark ignited and a clear vision of my my creative path, maybe even something tangible to show for my time there. A pop-up event, a draft of a book, the completed design for a new community co-op, at this moment I am not quite sure, but when I get there I’ll know.
I am not sure if this personal letter is too much, or not enough. 700 words feels hard, and I am very out of practice. I saw the application deadline post on social a few days ago, and I will not let fear and doubt hold me back from trying. I am currently in the midst of a website overhaul, most pages are hidden, but I shared over a link to some projects I have done.
This morning I asked myself if it was possible to overcome stupidity, and perhaps the word close-minded would be better suited for the true question. Is it possible to explain something in a way that will make the person understand, care, or empathize?
Less then an hour later, upon opening my Instagram for a brief moment of doomscroll, a quote by Mark Twain was front and center.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot. – Mark Twain
The quote itself was set to a chill instrumental version of gangsta’s paradise, with a black and white video of water crashing behind it.
It was in that moment that I was reminded yet again on how much energy is wasted when I attempt to explain my perspective to someone who gives no fucks about it. For now the goal is to focus on recognizing and bringing awareness to myself when I begin to spiral into explanation. To stop. Take a moment. Say nevermind and walk away.
In the midst of my increasingly ugly divorce with my soon to be ex-husband we continue to “disagree” on some seemingly universal basics. Now while some of you may be thinking — just don’t talk to him. Move out. Be the bigger person. Please kindly and disrespectfully fuck off. Three years of silence and being the bigger person got me here to this exact point.
So after a quick google search of “what makes a good father?” for the comic relief, followed by the same search of “what makes a good mother?” it has occured to me that society in this country is FUCKED. (As if we didn’t already know this.)
Below are the two images of the top things listed for each search as prepared by google.
As noted these were compiled from various sources across the web. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH?
*Please note I am fully aware of what MY definition of a good parent is on both sides. We will get to that.
Can we just talk about the apologize when necessary first?
It has recently come to my attention, awareness, or top of mind that I often find myself surrounded by a bunch of people so worried about offending someone, that nobody wants to say anything at all.
Enough with the judgement, can we try to lead with curiosity?
Come from a place of understanding, or wanting to understand. Enough with the judgements, the assumptions, the snarky passive-aggressive bullshit.
Last night at Family Night I watched a little girl be inherently mean to my kid, over and over. My kid is 3. In an effort to let her “handle” the situation on her own, I would check in periodically, I stayed close by.
She looked so sad and confused. And then I just couldn’t. I told her when she was ready to leave we could go home and have ice cream (yes I absolutely bribed my kid to leave). We left 10 minutes later.
We all have varying degrees of what’s acceptable, but honestly this shit is getting old. I refuse to accept the excuses that “boys will be boys, and that’s just how girls are at that age.”
WHAT? Nope. Sorry. No thank you.
Can we stop making excuses for our kids behavior when its shitty? It seems like as parents we often excuse certain things because it is a direct reflection of ourselves, or we become aware of how our words and actions have shaped our own kids consciously or not.
I believe we can do better. I know for a fact that a 4 year old saying “You make no sense, I am going to ignore you and everything you say” while simultaneously blocking and pushing a younger kid didn’t come from nowhere. Not allowing my kid to try and make friends with any other kid is shitty.
let’s take a minute and think of how we can be supportive of each other and our children. I implore you to approach life from a place of curiosity and understanding vs. judgement and assumption.
The displays of judgement and snobbiness that are infecting this neighborhood are ugly. Your kids see you. We all see you.
VHS goodness, and revamping some of the deals. Hope to see you there 
