In 2021 I set out to open a place in the neighborhood, it got lost in the chaos of life, and has since evolved, but these are the notes.
It’s meant to be the village hub, about “It takes a village”.
And I keep coming back to the mixing of generations and cultures.
A place for parents to be people, A place for people to be people
Raise your hand if you have/want kids
Raise your hand if you know someone who has kids
Raise your hand if you have been bothered by kids in a restaurant.
Raise your hand if you have judged someone with kids in a restaurant.
I would imagine there are a lot of hands raised right now…
The vision had a corkboard wall dedicated to spreading kindness, joy, support, advice, as well as community resources like workshops, classes, etc.
Write out the “manifesto” what would we write on the wall when you enter, what is the purpose, why are we here?
“Be gentle with other generations” – community board with notes –
What is one thing you wish people would stop saying about your generation?
What is something you don’t understand about other generations?
Ask a question to another generation.
And then also include a generation chart and polaroids of multi-gen visitors (self-submit).
NOTE: How can we accommodate different generations?
This led me down a path of research post-baby. Going to a restaurant with a baby was an extreme anxiety-inducing event for me. There had to be another way — I was given a book called Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff and it felt like fireworks and lightbulbs. Notes from an internet dive into related issues such as family dining and child development coughed up some of the below notes.
Kids learn emotional regulation from us, but some of us don’t get to learn it from anybody else, so who are we supposed to learn it from?
“It’s that we all have different definitions of what is appropriate and expected in a public space, and often that changes depending upon the mood you’re in, the stress you’re under, and how the planets are aligned.” Via article on Scarymommy circa 2016/2020 here
Bon Appetit Article Sources/Refs:
https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/postpartum-care/the-excruciating-loneliness-of-being-a-new-mother/ (2018)
https://www.vox.com/features/23191527/urban-planning-friendship-houston-cars-loneliness (2022)
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352
https://www.heart.co.uk/lifestyle/parent-sparks-debate-selfish-let-children-cry-restaurants/
Quote to respond, which came from the original post via buzzfeed as of April in 2023 https://www.buzzfeed.com/rossyoder/restaurant-etiquette-for-2023
Ross Yoder -> NY-based food editor. Say hello — ross.yoder@buzzfeed.com
https://www.parents.com/is-it-ok-to-bring-kids-food-to-restaurants-7506891
One solution could be to never go out to eat until your kids are in college. But then they miss out on the valuable lessons that can be learned in a restaurant setting, such as how to behave themselve
s in public and use their manners. Another solution—sharing a meal or letting your kids eat off your plate.
Using their manners article – 22 manners your kids should know? WHY? https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/25-manners-kids-should-know/
How restaurants can create a more inclusive experience for kids with autism article is here
“The relationship between children and restaurants is always going to be slightly strained. It’s nearly impossible for a restaurant to cater successfully to everybody, and one of the most obvious clashing points is always likely to be that between young families and people who don’t like the presence of children.” https://www.them-apples.co.uk/2010/03/should-kids-be-allowed-to-eat-in/
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Family/kristen-bell-lets-kids-order-nonalcoholic-beers/story?id=101661812
What happened to American parenting?
I spent the better part of 2020 at home with my boyfriend and my pets, online scrolling, consuming content, and being isolated like the rest of the world. My anxiety has skyrocketed.
“No parent goes to a restaurant and wants their child to misbehave. Not a single parent.”
Every parent has a horror-story about a meal gone wrong – https://www.austinchronicle.com/food/2017-03-03/the-difficulties-of-dining-with-kids/
“In many ways, the innovation of the children’s menu changed the ways that families move through public spaces, for better and for worse. Indeed, the children’s menu is the story of America, from Manifest Destiny to the postwar baby
The Brain Dump
Given my background in branding and marketing, I like to tackle strategy backwards. Here were my notes for an ad campaign and/or pitch deck about the project concept:
Calling Ridgewood parents
Rex’s room – a place for parents to be grownups and parent at the same time
First and foremost we are kid fucking friendly.
The space was created for parents to be able to feel like an adult without having to find a sitter or feeling like they are disruptive in a regular cafe setting.
First time parent? We got you.
Thinking about kids? We got you.
Looking for comfort classics? We got you.
Picky eater? We got you.
Call it a practice place. But we also serve beer & wine, seltzer and non alcoholic stuff DUH.
Private nursing rooms that are not a toilet.
Private stalls like rolo’s or something like phonebooth style for nostalgia (this would probably be more expensive since they would need to be soundproofed)
Sound Proof Space or Dining Space for a larger group, a meeting, etc.
Private events ?
How to be a community space but also profit?
Minimal overhead & staffing
Partner with local spots for vendors and food
What kind of random shit do we sell that’s profitable?
Easy classics
Drip coffee
Chicken nuggets
Grilled cheese Add apple
How do you create a space that makes parents feel relaxed, and also is engaging enough for kids to stay occupied but not overwhelming?
Interior design and sound muffling, ceiling design,
VHS goodness, and revamping some of the deals. Hope to see you there 
