Author: Laura Rex

The below is an email I sent in response to someone who was part of a team dynamic I was getting to know. I was brought in because of my previous work. Edited for privacy.

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Here’s my take — FUCK NO. She can take her satisfaction and eat it. 

As far as answering her questions, I could ask the same thing except I don’t have to. I will not spend more than 20 minutes addressing this situation past this email. 

After that point, I will move along and do my thing, and do what I am good at (noted below). If she wants to play difficult, she picked the wrong person to do it with. 

She knows how to do keywords – that’s cool. SEO, PPC, and Advertising are successful when the brand, the messaging, the platform and the target are aligned. Right now, based on what I have seen and heard — they are not. So let’s get on with it…

*I think there are still some unanswered questions about Laura, and I think for me, those questions are do the skills that it takes to fill a concert hall translate to the skills that it takes to sell a subscription technology product?* 

holy toxic hellhole. this is a fucking startup, and calling bullshit is an important part of my skillset.

*And also, what functions would she perform?* 

i don’t perform, and I am not a robot. I am a person, and clearly I am here to remind everyone that your product is also for humans.

*I kind of struggled to get an answer out of her when I put that question to her when first we spoke. She said well I kind of do everything and so I said well do you do paid media and she said no I don’t do that and I said will you do PR and she said no I don’t do that* 

The ability to do everything, and having a preference and/or skillset are NOT mutually exclusive. In the current context, I see that the best use of my time is to stop wasting time and resources. Let’s start with the messaging, solidify the audience on both the product front and fundraising part.  Pitch Decks -take that off of Founder X’s plate so they can focus on the product. Adjust and expand on the decks –  Work with you (Founder Z) to align the lanuguage in the upcoming fundraising campaign. Prepare for it.  Evaluate the current “resources” that are available that she still hasn’t made available and stop wasting everybody’s fucking time.

*Is it email, social, higher level strategizing?* 

all of the above, why is this even a question? Higher level strategy is the fucking top, it dictates the email, the social, the ads, etc. I don’t care how many fucking keywords you put in a website, if it doesn’t connect to the right investor or the user, or command some type of attention it’s wasted money. also impressions are trash.

*And what support will she need?* 

none from her. I will need information, and open communication from all parties involved if anyone expects me to stay on the project, let alone for free. ‘Founder X’ has been an absolute pleasure to interact with, and has provided me with plenty to dig into. 

*Will she need design support, copy support, what is it?* 

no, not at this point in time.

*So those questions are still unanswered for me and I can’t full-heartedly give my blessing until those questions are answered to my satisfaction.*

As previously mentioned She can take her blessing & satisfaction and eat it. 

Cheers! 

Me.

P.S. As a Chief of anything, this is petty AF. Girl needs to do her research. The passive aggressive digs are sad. I am not here to prove myself. Her immediate need to defend and deflect is just screaming red flags at me. I will build a temp site myself at this point, a brand guide is future shit. The waitlist WILL be better, and people will TRUST your brand and product.

death to the ego. call me whenever. 

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I am not meant for the land of corporate. that’s ok. all of this made me realize that I don’t do what I do for the credit, I’ve spent most of my career having other’s claim my work, sitting back waiting for someone to notice. But I’m not here for that these days. I noticed. I am the problem FINDER, gap filler, and solutions expert. I want to be in and out before I get bored. Those who have taken my advice have succeeded. I like to shake shit up, force people out of their comfort zones, and call it how I see it.

END RANT. for now.